Learning from the Girls of Pakistan
By Coach Karli
What is the first thing that pops into your head when you think of Pakistan? Hot weather? Sand? Islam? Hijabs? Violence? Oppressed Women? Terrorism?
I thought all the same things. I see now how my view of Pakistan (a country we never really hear about, but clump with Afghanistan and other countries in the Middle East even though Pakistan is located in South Asia) has been skewed by the media.
As a kid who grew up during 9/11, I knew what the media told me about those who practice Islam. Not that I stood by what the media told me, but it has been so ingrained in my head since I was a child. I now know that Pakistan is actually a part of South Asia and is a country with kind and welcoming people who are also fighting for gender equality culturally and in sports.
This was the first time I traveled to a Muslim country. When our small Girls Leading Girls staff of three was asked, “Who wants to go to Pakistan?” My hand shot right up.
I’m not afraid of traveling to a place I have never been to, nor did I truly believe everything the media has told me. I wanted to see the country and its people for what and who they really are. I wanted to make my own opinion.
When I first arrived, the landscape and the weather were not quite what I expected. It was warm, but breezy. There wasn’t much sand and the streets were full of cars and motorcycles buzzing around. Kids were walking around in their school uniforms, young and old men were playing cricket in the parks, and you could see shops like the ones we are used to seeing in our shopping plazas like Pizza Huts, KFC’s, AT&T’s, Toyota dealerships, etc.
We were immediately greeted by our security team. These tall and large Pakistani men greeted us with smiles, took our suitcases and were on constant patrol. They were very quiet at first, but then quickly realized we were just a bunch of adventure loving people full of curiosity. They started to joke with us and help us understand their culture. They watched us like hawks because they wanted to make sure we were always safe. I couldn’t even get up to go to the bathroom without one of them ready and on their toes to escort me to the bathroom. And we followed them like little ducklings. We honestly didn’t seem to be in any danger, but they took their jobs seriously and took pride in their roles to protect us, no matter if we were visiting a mosque or grabbing dinner at PF Changs (when our stomachs needed a little break from the local cuisine).
I didn’t fully understand what I was doing in Pakistan at first. I thought I was going over there to coach girls in soccer or just support girls doing sports. I thought I was there to share my experience in my sport, share my experience with Girls Leading Girls, and make some connections with our host partner Women Win and the U.S. State Department.
It became clear very quickly that what we were actually doing was so much bigger than what I thought.
We were on an exciting exchange that addressed gender-based violence through sports.
We had the opportunity to meet men, women, boys, and girls in Karachi and Islamabad, who play different sports and are breaking Pakistani social norms to empower women and girls.
Through these meetings with different local organizations, clubs, and families, we were able to have honest and meaningful conversations. They were so welcoming and open, which allowed us to talk about difficult topics that normally would not be brought up. We had the opportunity to talk about religion, politics, hijabs, domestic violence, culturally acceptable norms like: honor killings, transgender oppression, and even how they feel the U.S. has portrayed their country to be full of terrorists.
On our first day, we got to visit Aga Khan University in Karachi, where we learned about the professors’ research on domestic violence. They had created a program (GOAL) that teaches young kids - boys and girls - about their rights, respect, and kindness, in hopes to end the cycle of domestic violence. The lessons the GOAL program teach makes its way back to these children’s homes, which is changing their parents’ opinions.
Domestic violence and other issues have actually decreased in homes due to this team’s research and the GOAL program. This was a great way to start the trip because we learned about many issues that men, women, girls, and boys are facing in Karachi. It gave us the basic info we needed to know in order to take in everything we were going to be learning over the next 9 days.
Once we finished at the University, we had the opportunity to visit a soccer organization called Diya Women’s Football Club (DWFC). The girls from DWFC love the game and were excited to have new soccer coaches teach them different skills.
This was right up my alley and the girls wanted to learn. I stepped right into a comfortable area, and yet an uncomfortable position because I didn’t speak the same language.
To be honest though, this was the best coaching challenge.
I learned to draw the drill in the dirt and demo so they would understand what we are working on. They were receptive and eager to learn.
It was truly an surreal experience to coach these girls. They spoke about dreaming big and wanting to change the social norms. Their smiles and personalities really came out on the field.
This is what one brave 15-year-old girl, named Ameerah wanted to tell us.
“I want to change the image printed by the media of Pakistan. I want to make it better. I want them to know that we are not sexist and our religion does not stop us from becoming who we want to be.” - Ameerah, 15
She was so passionate when she spoke and as she spoke, the girls surrounding her were nodding their heads in agreement.
One challenge for girls is to get support to try something new, whether it’s with sports or becoming financially independent. While there are still many parents who don’t support girls playing sports, it only takes a few to start a chain reaction to help it grow. We got to meet some soccer moms who dared their girls to dream and work hard.
Throughout the week, we saw that it only took one dad, one brother, one mother, or one coach to give a girl a chance. Once the girls are educated on whatever subject, skill, or sport— it is incredible to see how these girls take what they learn and spread their knowledge and strength to other girls and boys around them.
Pak-Shaheen Boxing Club (Lyari, Pakistan)
If there was something you wanted us to tell our communities, what would you want us to tell them?
“We feel that the U.S. has portrayed us as terrorists, but we are not. We are not terrorists. We are very kind people and you are welcome here. We are strong, educated, and vocal girls who want to change our future and change the norms.” - Malaieka, 17
Search of Pearls - Table Tennis (Islamabad, Pakistan)
Search of Pearls - Table Tennis (Islamabad, Pakistan)
Misbah Volleyball Academy (Misbah is wearing the pink jacket) Islamabad, Pakistan
I learned a lot from the organizations we visited in Pakistan. We got to hear the young girls speak about their dreams and why they are fighting the social norms by playing sports.
We met young boys who are learning how they can better support girls of all ages and not continue the cycle of domestic violence in their families.
These young people are brave and are changing Pakistan.
They are changing the culture and their future. And while they have critics and people are constantly asking them, “Why?” they continue to move forward. These are some of the kindest people I have ever met.
Why do you feel it is important to be a part of this organization that teaches boys to treat women with respect?
“It is important to me because it will help me function in society.”
“It is important to me to learn all these important lessons because then it is my responsibility to share what I know with others around me.”
My time in Pakistan was enlightening and a true gift.
The people we met in Pakistan were truly the ones teaching us about their communities and what they are doing to address gender-based violence. They are making great strides by using their voice, education, research, and strong will to change women in sports. They get critiqued and questioned, but they continue to push against adversity.
I not only got to make great connections with locals who welcomed us into their schools, homes, and lives, but I also got to make great connections with other amazing non-profits here in the U.S. I made wonderful friendships that I will cherish. We were on this adventure together and were able to reflect together. We shared our thoughts and feelings as we experienced this amazing country, which was invaluable.
I encourage all of you to challenge your own perceptions and ask yourself where your beliefs about other countries and cultures actually come from, are they even your own?
Together, we can all make a difference, do our part, and make the world we live in a better place for all.